Parents

Article 041.

He lays comfortably on the couch. His hair-- salt-and-pepper, thinning and a bit ragged. Glasses on and wearing a hoodie on top of his pajamas. He was all business scoping the television despite the cold seeping inside his skin. His fight with the elements is becoming prominent. Stairs or anything inclined or steep that requires motion, whether going up or down, becomes a nemesis. The world around him has slowly and steadily getting muted. It's just a matter of time before everything to him becomes silent.

She's in the kitchen. The cabinetry is blocking the view below eye-level so she is not visible from where I'm standing. But you can tell she is wiping away on the floor with the sound of friction between a damp cloth and solid wood. She makes it as spotless as can be. She is sturdy despite the years and undoubtedly young-looking for her age. I think some Amazonian spell took over her and she will probably live another decade.

I came from the narrow hall from the bedroom, and that was my view. My parents are in town. Flew more than a thousand miles from the Philippines to spend just a little over two weeks with their youngest offspring. A bond that in theory is unquestionably present but throughout the years lack the quality of time spent. Distance had been the primary adversary. Yet at times I wonder if it is just my disposition to be frugal and allot my resources to daily life instead of turning it to air miles and create more memories with the two people who brought me into this world. I resent it to be honest. Not spending enough, not trying enough to be with them. It took me long enough to realize that the appreciation part should've been a lot earlier. Not that I haven't but there should've been more interaction, I should've been more vocal. When I see messages from people just wishing that their parents are still alive, missing them and honoring them in the after-life, I should be as ecstatic as well with my folks while they are still living. We all should, right? Yet I, we, take for granted the time we still have with them. I envy you though if you consistently manifest your appreciation of your living parents. Want to do yet hard to actually do. We should also take every opportunity to spend time with them if we can. Like for instance, I’ve spent almost half of my life oceans apart from my folks and since I migrated to the United States, I’ve never spent another Christmas holiday with them (and with my only sister too). This has been the one on the bucket list that is achievable yet most likely be one of the last to be crossed off. What will it take for me to fly back to Manila and spend the holidays with my folks? That thought had always and still lingers in my head. I think it will happen really soon. I just hope I am not too late.

Now what else is there that hasn’t been said about appreciating our parents? Probably nothing. Most of us had voiced out our deepest love and gratitude to our parents in some form or fashion, and I bet there is already a piece of article for everything that there is to say about them. I myself already wrote a blog about my folks (Article #10), although heartfelt, I feel that I never gave it justice. So now it is time to rectify that shortcoming (hopefully).

 

Dad is about to be a quarter shy of hitting the century mark. Mom is two years behind. Seeing them at this stage in their lives is surreal. Although they are actively traveling, Dad had expressed that it will be very soon when he won't be able to endure the crowd and the process inside the airport, much more being inside an airplane for hours. So our window is shrinking. I got to do more with what I have before time puts an end to it all. Man, I wish I was more expressive when I was young. Gave them their props not just through gifts but verbally as well, although Dad would attest that more gifts-- money in particular-- would suffice. Dad's always joking even at this age. Still drinking as well. How does he do it, really? Love the small talk with Mom. She complains about Dad being such an antagonist all the time, to the point where you can't distinguish anymore if he's being serious or not. She tells me that Dad moves like an old man already, smiling because she is still very mobile and agile. Her OCD on cleanliness amazes me, giving me pointers to sustain the tidiness she bestowed upon my kitchen and bathroom when she leaves. I kidded that I'll just save up for her airfare and fly her out here once a year to do spot maintenance. She laughs but I am actually considering it. I think she loves being useful, kinda keeps her going. I praise her for being active at her age, for maintaining a social circle. I told her that studies showed that social interaction greatly influences life satisfaction on seniors and contributes to longevity of life. The one thing Dad is missing out. Plus her being active all the time at home, doing chores like she still has kids versus Dad's frequent lying down in bed makes a whole lot of difference. Sadly, I notice the disparity and it is undeniable. My sister and I talked about on how we can egg our Dad to go out and be social. But with age also comes grumpiness and stubbornness. Making him comfy and letting him do whatever he wants is probably the best way to repay him for his tenure as head of the family. 

 

I'm not entirely sure though why they decided to visit me here this year and for Mom to celebrate her birthday away from majority of her family. Dad is the one who is about to reach a milestone and it would've made a lot more sense if he wanted to celebrate his birthday here since there's not a lot of his contemporaries left. Nevertheless, I'm glad they did visit me. It melts my heart to see how my kids were kind enough to share some time with their grandparents and all of us just being together (just missing my sister and her family). Mom's birthday celebration, was in a sense, special. Really special. Not in a grand we-went-all-out kinda special but because of the people who celebrated it with her. First time since my boys were still kids did we celebrate a grandparent's birthday altogether (plus my girl and my best friend also present). My folks' were kinda surprised how outspoken their grand kids are especially my younger kid who, in fairness, had a a strong cocktail during the meal. But come to think of it, it may not really have mattered if they were buzzed since they are fairly candid when they’re sober anyway.

Awesome Twosome!

Will miss Mom's kare-kare. That was an absolute hit with me and my boys. There was just no comparing. And Dad's humor is priceless, albeit smart-ass, but still priceless. The morning of their departure flight was lazy. As they leisurely slouch on the sofa, watching a low-budgeted film, I stare at them and worry about them flying out by themselves. Flying here to LA they had my sister help them out up to their gates (she scheduled the same day flight going to NYC) so at least they were guided and all I needed was to meet them at the LAX airport. But to have them go through the entire flight proceedings on their own, I was a bit concerned. But I guess it’s them where I inherited my "smartness", so I know they'll manage. And they did, with ease. Thank goodness! Although the trip was short, the memories were lasting. I will never take my parents for granted while they are still alive and so should you. If they are still physically present, embrace them. If they can still hear, tell them how you feel. And as long as their hearts are beating, let them feel your love. I can't wait for my folks to visit me again so we can make more memories, especially Mom, so that my kitchen would be spotless yet again haha!

Ohana!!!