19 Things Emotionally Intelligent People Do

Article 046.

Have you seen some of these "influencers" whose content is to just react to other videos online? They used to have their own content but now it's just reactions. I don't know about you but if “reacting to videos” becomes your primary content, then I think you are just running out of ideas. Right?

Speaking of running out of ideas, I am reacting to this article I read online that was published on 07/24/18 by this e-newsletter named INC. What?? Bloggers run out of ideas too you know (wink). This is not a quiz but I'm grading myself per bullet point if I am a HIT or MISS (or a TAD). You can too if you wanna play along. Note: Everything in italics is part of the article, the rest is mine.

Here are 19 things that emotionally intelligent people do:

1. They think about feelings. Emotionally intelligent people are able to identify emotions and understand the role they play in influencing a person's thoughts, words, and actions. They do so by quietly observing both themselves and others, reflecting on those observations, and (at times) sharing their conclusions. This enables them to see what's happening "below the surface," so to speak ... and to identify the reasons behind our behavior.

MISS already. I am not oblivious to anyone's feelings and I observe them very well to be honest. But if I need to make a calculated decision, then thinking about feelings comes in second. Bonus if my thought process is aligned to how I feel. Won't that be the perfect situation?

2. They pause. Emotionally intelligent people realize that emotions are fleeting, and that often making impulsive decisions leads to regrets. Therefore, they try to pause and think before speaking or acting—especially when they find themselves in an emotionally charged moment. In short, their goal is to never make a permanent decision based on a temporary emotion.

I would say HIT but all of us had been impulsive with decisions at some point in our lives. But because I'm older now, I know how to "take a moment" before I react. This once comes with age. Not absolute but better control for sure when time has lapsed on you for a good while.

3. They control their thinking. Most emotions are experienced instinctively, meaning you can't control how you feel in any given moment. But emotionally intelligent people recognize they can control how they react to those feelings—by focusing on their thoughts. In doing so, they avoid becoming a slave to their emotions.

HIT to the nth time. Focusing on thoughts is what I do. Geez, I feel like a stickler and been told I was, not by one but aplenty.

4. They learn from "emotional hijacks". The truth is, none of us can control our emotions perfectly. We all make mistakes, and we'll continue to do so. Show me an "expert" in emotional intelligence, and I'll show you another person who loses their temper or makes an emotionally faulty decision—under the wrong circumstances. But those with true emotional intelligence endeavor to learn from mistakes. They study their behavior, identify their triggers, and cultivate the habits they need to successfully keep their emotions in balance.

Another HIT. I wasn't before but experience helps a lot. Notch this one as well to aging.

5. They demonstrate humility. Many people today view humility as weakness. But those with emotional intelligence value humility. They are quick to accept criticism, using it to grow. They realize being humble doesn't mean that they lack self-confidence or that they never stand up for their opinions or principles. Rather, it involves recognizing that they don't know everything—and being willing to learn from others.

MISS. Sadly I do stand up for my opinions and at times a bit too much. Although I value humility, it is not my strongest suit. I'm learning though and I already know that the lesser the stress, the more humble I become.

6. They practice honesty. Emotionally intelligent people do more than say what they sincerely believe; they also avoid half-truths and strive to present information in a way that won't be misinterpreted. They realize that a focus on technicalities, loopholes, and escape clauses may win them a trial in court, but it won't win them others' trust.

HIT. Too honest to a fault if I'm being honest (no pun LOL).

7. They're authentic. Those with high emotional intelligence realize authenticity doesn't mean sharing everything about yourself, to everyone, all of the time. Rather, they endeavor to always say what they mean, mean what they say, and stick to their values and principles above all.

HIT. Almost like # 6 here. Why lie? I'd rather not share all but just be true to what I do.

8. They show empathy. Instead of labeling others or freezing them in time, emotionally intelligent people work hard to see things through another person's eyes. They listen, not to form judgments. Rather, they listen to understand—which leads to deeper, more connected relationships.

HIT. Okay maybe people will misconstrue me when I say I do show empathy, but I really do. That is, only to those I want to. There is always some sort of screening process to whom I show it. I feel empathy all the time but showing it, not always. Does that make it a TAD then?

9. They commend others. Emotionally intelligent people look for the good in others. Then, they share specific praise. They also focus on nurturing others' potential. By doing so, they create positive, self-fulfilling prophecies.

HIT. I see the good in others and inclined to nurture others’ potential. I don’t have a problem sharing praises because I am positive that way.

10. They deliver necessary feedback effectively. Negative feedback has great potential to cause hurt feelings. Realizing this, emotionally intelligent people reframe criticism as constructive feedback, so the recipient sees it as helpful instead of harmful.

Probably a MISS. I try to relay the messages as clearly and as "effective" as possible but you can't blame me if it 's not well-received by the other party. I think if you start your phrase with "don't take this personally" then it is a criticism in some fashion, which I usually use more often than not.

11. They apologize. "I'm sorry" can be the most difficult words to say. But emotionally intelligent people realize the power of those words. They also know that saying sorry doesn't always mean you're wrong—just that you value your relationship more than your ego.

HIT. Sometimes too excessively.

12. They forgive and forget. Hanging on to resentment is like leaving a knife inside a wound. While the offending party moves on with their life, you never give yourself the chance to heal. But by forgiving and forgetting, emotionally intelligent persons move on—and prevent others from holding their emotions hostage.

I'd say a TAD just because I forgive but never forget. I thought that was the new saying anyway-- Forgive but not forget? It's not?

13. They keep their commitments. We live in a world where it's become commonplace to "bail," "ghost," or simply flake out. But emotionally intelligent people realize that keeping their word—in things big and small—establishes a strong reputation for reliability and trustworthiness.

Maybe a HIT. Okay, maybe a TAD. I keep my word for the most part but if it doesn't suit me, why would I stay in a situation I'm stressed about?

14. They tell good stories. Everyone loves a great story. Realizing this, emotionally intelligent people use anecdotes and narratives to bring numbers, facts, and key ideas to life. Through illustrations and real-life examples, they touch others and motivate them to act.

Hell yeah! I mean a HIT. Well, I think I do. Hmmm... as I think more about it, this could be just a TAD.

15. They help others. One of the best ways to inspire someone is to help them. By extending a supportive hand, emotionally intelligent people help others to become the best version of themselves.

HIT. I'm an advocate for happiness and love seeing people being emancipated from their misery. I will listen to your story and help you become a happier version of yourself. Promise I do!!!

16. They know when to relax. Those with high emotional intelligence realize they needn't understand every feeling as they experience it, or dissect every event as it happens. Rather, they search for deeper understanding when beneficial. And simply enjoy the moment when not.

MISS. My being logical has something to do with this, I mean not being able to move on from an emotion that struck a chord. I tend to linger and typically unable to relax if a new feeling is introduced.

17. They safeguard themselves from emotional manipulation. Emotionally intelligent people realize that there's a dark side to EQ–like when individuals use deception to manipulate, or pursue selfish goals at the expense of others. And that's just one reason they continue to sharpen their own EQ, so they can protect themselves and others.

Hard HIT. I hate being manipulated by others especially if they trying to put me in an emotional blackmail. I'm a bit guarded. Just go ask my ex... Never mind!

18. They embrace diversity. Emotionally intelligent people recognize that EQ comes in all different packages, shapes, and sizes. Man or woman. Quiet or loud. Brash or meek. Leader or follower. As they become aware of their own emotional tendencies and weaknesses, they endeavor to learn from those who are different—realizing it is these persons from whom they can learn the most.

HIT. I am certainly an equal opportunity employer when it comes to understanding, learning and working with emotions from all sorts of people. Everyone have different experiences in life and there maybe an emotion that I truly am not familiar with. That peaks my interest and would love to know more about it.

19. They recognize the power of emotions. Our emotions influence practically everything about our lives. They help us decide which career path we take, for which jobs we apply. They determine whether or not we enjoy a movie, a song, or a piece of art. They impact our decisions as to where we will live and for how long. They help us determine with whom we choose to spend our time, whom we fall in love with and marry ... and whom we leave behind.

I guess this is a HIT. I know how powerful emotions are but just don't use it as a primary deciding factor. And even if this is a MISS (which is not by any means), but if it is, I still pass as an emotionally intelligent person (13 out of 19) although ironically solidifies my MISS on # 5 haha!

Emotions can cause us to make a split-second decision, with consequences that will follow us for the rest of our lives. At times, they make us feel like we're stuck in a black hole with no way out—even if in the eyes of the rest of the world we've got it made. But they can also provide light at the end of the tunnel, making the most dire of circumstances more bearable. It is for all these reasons that emotional intelligence is so invaluable.

The truth is I don't think I can assess let alone call myself as an emotionally intelligent person, even if I pass this "test" with flying colors. Someone has to be the one to tell me this. For I can claim that I am one but yet other people would refute it. Plus the fact that I am a logical person which makes it a hard sell to having high EQ. Maybe, maybe not. But what about you? You think you are an emotionally intelligent person? Bet you're not (wink).

A simple yet powerful hand-holding illustration!